Choices and results

So Colleen made a special phone call today to tell me that she likes the New Chapter Seventeen. With all the work I put into the rewrite she wanted to let me know as soon as possible that it was good. It remains to be seen whether the rest of that section works for her, but I am gratified that all that work paid off. I do admit that in comparison to the new version the old one was lame and didn't go far enough. The buildup is more intense and some new conflicts--inner and outer--have arisen making Kyer's relationship with her captors that much more exciting.

I am feeling the loss of the story's playfulness, though. I always liked the fact that it was kind of lighthearted. However, I didn't like the notion that one reader presented, that if I removed the sex scene the book could pretty much be aimed at children. NOT cool.

I can't have it both ways, I guess. I wanted the reader reaction to be stronger, but I can't have that without deepening the intensity, which I guess means losing that playfulness, the sense of humour. I hope it isn't gone completely. My newer readers will be able to tell me. I have to say that I like the, "I can't stop reading it, give me MORE!" reaction I've been getting.

I guess I'm on the right track.

Editing madness

Colleen said to me on Monday, "You're going to hate me." Why would I do that? Because she's editing my MS, and came to a part that she thought was totally lame, and said so. Grrrr.

It's never easy to hear a comment like that, and if you ever get the privilege of being edited by Colleen, you will learn that she doesn't hold back, she makes her points VERY clear with lots of comments, honest reaction, and even a little sarcasm. I take criticism in that way from her because she's my friend and I trust her. (Plus there's that little bit of knowledge in the back of my mind that turnabout is fair play and I'm going to be editing for her some day very soon!!) I brace myself for her negative comments and take lots of deep breaths, but I listen to them and remain objective. I don't get all pissy and mad... because she's... well, she's right. It's refreshing to hear someone say, "I really wanted something bad to happen to Kyer in that scene, and it didn't, and I felt totally let down." Believe me, there was more to it than that. Ouch!

That kind of feedback is crucial. I appreciate her candor, and said so. I don't want an agent to read my book and feel "totally let down." I'd rather get it from a friend in a timely fashion, allowing me to fix the problems before they can be read by an agent who might then reject the whole thing.

So, I've worked on the chapter in question, using a scene I wrote for book two but removed because it didn't really fit. See, that's a reason to never reject an idea: always write the scene, even if you don't wind up using it where you planned. It has found a place elsewhere.

Now Kyer is in bigger trouble than she was before, and furthermore, she tries to talk her way out of it, but it fails, and boy oh boy is she in for it. And hopefully the reader response will be, "Oh NO! How's she going to get out of this?!"  

And THAT is the kind of reaction I want. So once again, thanks Colleen, for being so very nasty. And no, I couldn't hate you if I tried.

Another day, a few more words written down...

"So how's the writing coming?" asks Tom today. 

"Not bad," I say. "I'm doing a lot of brainstorming and mulling these days. A bit of writing, jotting notes, playing with ideas, and all that."

See, book three is tricky. This whole story has been based on the Fantasy role playing game my friends and I used to play; that's where a lot of the ideas came from--stories that had already been created. Mind you, very little that happens in the story actually "happened" in the game. There are really only a few events that I've used, and of course I had to create the story to go round them, not to mention flesh out the characters and make them real (one of the funnest parts of all this, I must say). Book one stemmed from Kyer killing Simon at the Burnished Blade. The rest of Dark Elf's Warrior came from my brain. Book two stemmed from an event in the game, wherein Alon Maer (Kien Bartheylen's wife) is terribly ill, and pregnant, and will die if our heroes don't find a cure. The visit to the wizard Kayme "happened" in the game, as did Kyer's rather nasty fall, and of course... The Gate. But now that I think about it, that's about it. The story surrounding those events was all me: The fact that the theme is Trust, the whole relationship with the Guardian, the antagonist's motivation and his goal (look at me not giving away spoilers!), the Indyn Caves situation, a certain pair of twin assassins named Misty and Juggler...

So why is book three so tricky? Now, here's why blogging is a helpful tool: I hadn't truly put those thoughts down in tangible form. I was thinking all along that I had to make book three up completely, but that's not the case. Sure I'm still not sure if they'll take that journey by ship, and if not, then that negates Skimnoddle's need to pose as the merchant Flavius. But if I don't use that, then it also means I lose Skimnoddle forcing Derry to be his lackey which is such a delightful abuse of Derry's gallantry. The battle with the dragon Greok is there, as is the ultimate confrontation... Ah, but IS it the ultimate confrontation? I'm not so sure. See, the Guardian is still around and is most definitely up to no good. Maybe.

Oh, it's such fun! I do have lots of things to work with, now that I think of it, at least as much as I had when I began Book Two. I just have to remember back to the time when I started writing it, and how long did that take? Crikey, I started it at the same time as Book One, because I had no idea how many pages the first part of the story would take up. The Kayme scene was the second scene I wrote, and much later realised that it would have to go in the second book. Sheesh.

I guess the message I am getting from this is that I just have to keep writing and it will all fall into place the same way the first two did. I don't have to plan everything now.

But yes, Tom, I will continue to walk round and round through my living room and kitchen talking out loud to myself to work out ideas. Writers, I think, have to be just a little bit crazy. And please, Tom, chat with Jock and help me with some brainstorming, ok?

Success in spite of stress

What a week it has been. Proctor for the MCC last Thursday, the hot water hose on my washing machine split on Friday, spraying water all round my basement for about 20 minutes until I discovered what that hissing noise was (I wasn't even doing laundry!), working the PEBC exam on Saturday, tremendously foul mood from Friday to Tuesday, sent myself to my room, the rain keeps dumping down and the siding on my house is leaking somewhere, allowing water to seep in along the foundation and soak up the cloths and towels we lay there for that purpose. 

BUT! On Monday I mailed off my sample chapters and synopsis to Eddie Schneider at JABberwocky, who requested them a couple of weeks ago. That is something I'm very proud of. It's always scary to seal that envelope, and even scarier to slip it into that slot. So I celebrated with a Chocolate Extreme Blizzard at our local Dairy Queen. And now I just hope the guy takes his time reading, so I am able to finish revisions on the rest of the novel. Nothing like living on the edge.

AND! (golly, wouldn't an editor just hate my capitals and exclamation points??) I used my proctoring time productively. Yes, yes, I was still paying attention to the candidates in my section, signed them out to the bathroom as they needed, confiscated their drinks that weren't water [honestly, how ambiguous is "bottle water only"?] and cell phones. However, it was such a long, quiet day that I wrote a good three pages of book three. By hand. In my notebook. Which will likely translate into 6-8 pages of typed work. So this is book three of Dark Elf's Warrior. Ideas are just formulating and percolating, and some of them are even starting to make some sense in my brain. It's such fun!

Nearly Ready

I have a big submission coming up and have been quite preoccupied with editing, revising and generally getting it as close to "perfect" as possible. Two weeks ago, Dark Elf's Warrior had about 122,000 words. Thanks to much hacking and slashing and harsh criticism from my writer friends (look out you guys when it's my turn to look at your work!) it is now under 118k. It's pretty hard to take at first, but I was ready for it. The words, "This scene doesn't accomplish enough," and "This really slows the pace," are, in a perverse way, music to my ears. (Thanks Colleen). If cutting these bits, no matter how fun they are, means picking up the pace of the story and adding to the tension... then I'm all for it.

The lovely amusing scene wherein Aidan, the overbearing proprietor of the inn in Paterak, feeds the party average food, pushes Kyer and Phennil together, and hopes for a sale of some of her ghastly paintings (to goofball Phennil, of course) is GONE. Who knows? Maybe I can bring it back at another time in a later book, but it truly is not necessary here. And how fascinating that to keep Kyer and Derry on horseback instead of stopping to rest elevates the tension? In spite of making virtually no changes to the dialogue, the scene is much more interesting all of a sudden. Kind of mind-blowing, really. I love this process!

Jonathan told me the discussion about the war between Valrayker, Kien and Governor Lyndon was too conversational. So yesterday I worked on stepping that up, giving each character a firmer motivation behind their words. Funny how a lot of the dialogue remained the same, but I switched them around so Kien says something that Val used to say...that sort of thing.

I read my submission to hubby over the last two nights. Now, he's been involved in the story since day one, naturally, so he noticed huge changes in the pace and all. He didn't think his comments on it were very helpful, but that's not true.

See, each reader who critiques for me has a different perspective, and therefore has a different type of comment. Colleen was big on the pacing, which was absolutely necessary at this point. Jonathan is very nit-picky about words, rearranging them, losing unnecessary dialogue tags, that sort of thing. Kathy is not a writer, but loves to read and is certainly an intelligent person... She pointed out where things felt awkward or confusing to her, and it is up to me to figure out why. Hubby's comments are similar. "I don't get that," works just as well. I've only just sent this chunk of chapters to Ron... I'm afraid!

I think my friends will be just as upset as I will be if this submission gets rejected. It's good to have friends.

It's not supposed to be a writing day. I'm supposed to be baking so the kids have things for snacks in their lunches. Better get back to it.

Post Conference Energy

Was that a week ago I last wrote?? Just shows how much fun I've been having.

Once again, the Surrey International Writers Conference was an uplifting, invigorating and exciting experience. This year I enjoyed it as a volunteer, rather than as an attendee. Colleen and I had a great time as Timers in the agent/editor appointment room, and felt we helped things run smoothly and ease everyone's nerves. It was neat to work with the agents and editors, helping them and making sure they had everything they needed. No stress for us, because we weren't pitching. Funny how it made the author/agent relationship feel more human...

And I loved hearing people's success stories: Jonathan was asked for submissions and had great feedback from an author or two, Ron received an overwhelming positive response to his work being read allowed in the SiWC Idol... and many other good news stories.

And of course we linked up with old friends, hung out in the bar with them, and also met new ones. In our spare time Colleen edited my MS in preparation for my submission to the agent who requested it. All is good. I worked all day on that yesterday, cutting trimming, revising transitions... I love this process. Sure, it's hard to be told that a scene, although it's amusing, doesn't accomplish anything and serves only to bog down the pace of the story, I do love the problem solving. I'm happy to cut and to smooth out, and it never ceases to amaze me how plot items fall into place in very intriguing ways. Simply by not allowing Kyer and Derry to stop and rest that one time after the battle in the woods not only added more urgency, it also added some lovely tension which was missed before. Gosh I wish I'd thought of writing it that way! I feel like I can't claim responsibility for the cleverness of it.

Now I have to write a cover letter to accompany my chapter submission, print off my pages and my synopsis and get it in the mail. Let's get this show on the road.

It's another busy day with appointments and errands... but the added bonus is a lunch date with buddy Jonathan, who was down for the conference and is now down on business. Yay! I get to talk writing some more! 

Making Reader Connections

Elizabeth Lyon, (an independent editor and writing instructor with whom I've worked many times at the Surrey International Writers' Conference), said that it's important to open your novel with helping the reader connect with the protagonist. She warned me against opening book two (Deception) in Kien Bartheylen's point of view, because the reader will automatically assume he is the protagonist. Then I'll have to work that much harder to help the reader connect with Kyer when we meet her in scene two.

One of the things I love about the way Elizabeth teaches is that she never says, "Don't do this, it's wrong, it's a bad idea." No, she simply warns you of the potential hazards so you can be sure your decision is right for your story, and allows you to forestall those problems. When I was reading at 5:00 this morning coz I couldn't sleep, I discovered that she was right.

This is the same book that has the long and boring prologue, by the way. Chapter one opens in the point of view of a girl, the daughter of the title character. Chapter two opens in a different point of view, and we spend a couple of chapters with him. Chapter three turns to another character.... It's not that I can't follow the story, it's just that I keep wondering when we're going back to the girl. And when are we going back to the second character? I'm having trouble settling in. I don't know who the protagonist is! Not that I can't still enjoy the story, but each POV change does pull me out of the story a little.  This new understanding will affect the way I review my own Book Two when I get back into it.

The other problem I'm having with the book I'm reading is where/when it begins. A murder has taken place, which is usually something that a reader can connect with emotionally. But in this story the information has come out in a rather distant way, in that the girl has finished writing a letter to her brother telling him about the murder. Because I hadn't had a chance to connect with the character, because it followed the aforementioned prologue, and because the murder came out in such an indirect way...I didn't connect with the information.

The issue of the murder came up again a few chapters later, and I found myself thinking, "Have I heard about this before? It sounds sorta familiar...." So I went back and basically re-read all of chapter one again to get the story of the murder straight. How irritating! Why not open the story with the girl hearing about the murder firsthand? Then I'd be able to feel the same emotions she feels as she hears about it, and it'd be pretty unlikely that I'd forget having read about it.

It's interesting to read a book critically and figure out what works for me and what doesn't. Trouble is, I haven't been able to read a book for pure enjoyment in years. Flawless books are hard to find.

At the end of the day...

Considering I've had a nasty headache all day I feel pretty good about what I accomplished today. I did a word count of Griffin and I'm nearing 27k, so I'm pleased. A bunch of those words are at the beginning of the story, and a bunch of them are at the end... Now I just have to put a whole bunch of words in between.

I have to write what comes into my mind, so the last little while it's been all the build-up to the climax of the story. Eventually I'll figure out exactly how she gets there! It's such a fascinating process. 

My work schedule is so busy this fall that I've had to set aside blocks of time for writing. It's working pretty well. Some things have to be neglected, and since it can't be the writing and it can't be the kids.... Golly, look at all those dishes over there. Wow.

It's my first time, eh?

Here goes. Welcome to my blog. We'll see how much fun I have, and how much of my limited time it uses up! 

It's a writing day, today, which means I'm not booked to do other work elsewhere. I've started out by creating this blog, so that counts as writing-related work. Yesterday I had some bonus writing time, between working and meeting my step-sister-in-law for dinner before going to work again. I sat in the bright and beautiful atrium of the Health Sciences building out at UBC, and wrote for a couple of hours.

What am I working on right now? I'm continuing to revise, as well as market, my first fantasy novel, currently titled Dark Elf's Warrior, which was a finalist in this year's PNWA writing contest. (Hooray!!!!) I continue to revise because to my mind, it's a work in progress until such time as it is published and on bookstore shelves. But I'm marketing because it's awfully easy to hold onto something forever because it's not "perfect" yet. 

I'm looking forward to revising the sequel, (the Serpent and the Sage... or maybe Dark Elf's Warrior: Deception, I don't know which is better. And it'll probably change later anyway). I'm looking forward to it, because I've learned so much in recent years and have fixed up book one so much that I want to apply all those things to book two!

My new project is what I call a Modern Fantasy. The term Urban Fantasy seems to indicate werewolves and vampires and so forth, which is entirely inaccurate for this one. It's simply a fantasy that takes place right here and now. It's about a girl named Griffin, who's dying for validation as a musician, (she's a guitarist), as well as a decent relationship.  Her Big Chance to make a good impression is ruined by an ex-boyfriend's drug-induced thrasher solo accompanied by many insults and expletives. But then she meets Rickenbacker Topiary, a manager of the Salamander House of Music and Pudding, who is also a self-proclaimed Finder of People and Things. He promises to find her the lead guitarist of her dreams. Which he does. And that's the beginning of a most bizarre period of life for Griffin...

I'm having great fun writing this story. It's funny and crazy and because language is not limited by the medieval-ish world of my first two books, I'm finding that simile, and metaphorical descriptive passages are coming much more easily than ever before. I'm getting great feedback and terrific reactions from my writer friends, and my writing partner Ron is grilling me for more detail, forcing me to think of background info I haven't thought of yet, mainly because I'm writing off the top of my head. Fun stuff, anyway.

Ok, I think that's probably enough for the first one. It's time for lunch, and then I must get back to finding out what's going on in Griffin's life, poor thing, innocent victim that she is.